Solitude

“One can acquire everything in solitude - except character.”
Stendhal


Unspeakable speaks........


Today I spent most of my day in solitude. I woke up and prayed, read the bible, and did the few things that I had on my agenda. From the moment that I turned on the radio, I heard songs about life, healing, joy, and strength. All though I wasn't hearing the audible voice of God speaking to me, His spirit was definitely orchestrating the sound track of my circumstances. I spent the last few hours of my day at my mothers' grave. As I approached the grave site, I found myself at a loss of words. "Why am I here," I thought to myself. The last time that I came to her grave, I was telling her that my fate would not be the same as hers. I told her that my daughter would not experience the same hurt and pain from losing a mother. I thought that I had said all of my goodbyes and I was done with this. So as I looked up into the sky, I belted out and spoke, "Well Mom, it's really about to go down!" "I'm really going to do this Mom," I said, as I shook my head in disbelief that it was even my experience to begin with. I continued to speak to my mothers grave as if she was in her old rocking chair with her raggedy night gown, peering at me with her deep sultry eyes. I told her that this next step is a stretch for me, but for some reason I am confident in God's ability to bring me out victoriously on the other side and not just to "get me through". As I got ready to walk away from my mothers' grave, I told her that I loved her. It was almost like a ton of bricks dropped from my neck. I had not told my mother that I loved her before she died, and for years that had been a weight on me that I could not bear, so I would shut down in depression, every time I thought about it. This was a different experience, this time when I said those words, it was like I became a new and complete person. I had made peace with my past. Now as I moved closer to my "defining moment" I could go forward with a clear conscience and courage to face the unknown future ahead. A peace that I can not describe flowed through me and at that moment I knew that this next phase of my life was going to be "BIG."
There is power in facing those things that have held you back in life. But before you go off "popping your collar" make sure that you consult God on your approach. Sometimes we have to mature in our thinking before we face the "strongholds," that caused the pain. When God puts you in this place, be thankful despite how much it hurts, because He is healing you from within. It's time that we face the source of our pain and not just treat the symptoms that result from it.It was my day in solitude that brought the most healing to my heart. Eliminate all that is distracting you, shut it all down and cease being a slave to your life and listen to the spirit of God as He ministers to you. Stop hiding behind your job, family, ministry, and ambitions and let God direct your paths. It is in this solitude that you will experience the true peace of God as he moves you from slavery to destiny.