Pushing past the pain........

Unspeakable Speaks..........
This upcoming Tuesday will mark two weeks since I had surgery. Although, I meant for this blog to be uplifting, encouraging, and educational for those who may find themselves or their loved ones in a situation similar to this, I find it empowering as well to share with you my physical journey. For the most part, I have always had a high tolerance for pain, preferring to endure rather than to medicate but this is not one of those moments. From the time that I woke up from surgery, I have been in an intense pain that words can not describe. As I showed you in the diagram in the previous post (Circumcision), I had both of my breast removed. The malignant tumors were found in my right breast and in the lymph nodes under the right arm. I had the left breast removed as a precautionary measure due to the fact that I possess the "cancer gene" that could potentially give me a secondary breast cancer, ovarian and uterian cancer. During the mastectomy, my surgeon removed 27 lymph nodes under my right arm (all of which were benign, praise the Lord!!) along with my breasts. Three drains (jackson pratts) have been placed in a slits underneath the surgical site to suction and drain excess fluids and blood to avoid fluid in my lungs. The area previously occupied by my breasts are now just stitches across the chest. The drains are more painful than my chest. I have been prescribed tylenol and percocet to chase away the pain. Well people, it doesn't and if any of you have ever taken pain killers, you know that it just takes the edge off, but never really kills the pain. I have always slept on my sides, so now that I have these new apparatus' attached to me, sleeping has been very difficult. I have gotten so accustomed to taking pain meds that I am popping them like candy. This morning, I was nauseous from taking my medicine in the middle of the night without food. Due to the fact that I am on a narcotic, I am not permitted to drive. So needless to say, I have been enjoying traveling from my bedroom to the living room since I have been able to walk without collapsing. Now to you out there, it sounds terrible, and the truth is ......IT's TERRIBLE!!! I wish I could write you some deep super spiritual thought provoking post, but this has been my reality for the past week. The best part is that earlier this week, while doing my devotion, it was revealed to me that once I see all that is accomplished by my pain, I will be satisfied. After reading that, I thought back to all that has transpired during this journey, the people that have been saved, the relationships that have been healed, the success of the events planned, and the change of heart that I have had. Thinking on all of that makes the pain worth it but what's the most exciting, is that He's not done with me yet. Until He releases me I will continue to push past the the pain to my promise!


Read for yourself: Isaiah 53:10-11
For it was the Lord's good plan to crush him and fill him with grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have a multitude of children, many heirs. He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord's plan will prosper in his hands. When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied......