Unspeakable speaks......
I turned 31 on November 12, 2009. I remember as a child hearing my elder family members say things like, "The Lord saw fit to it that I would see another year," and I never thought much of that statement until now. One year ago, I was on my couch praying that something extraordinary would take place that year, and that whatever it was, God would be glorified. Well look at God, He did it, He truly made my 30th year one for the books! This birthday, I chose to spend my birthday with my Aunt in New Jersey and drink in the wisdom that she alludes. It was cold and overcast outside, quiet and still in the house and peaceful inside me. Any other time, I would have been annoyed by the atmosphere but today I didn't mind it, after all it was just another example of how "not to let the atmosphere around you shape what is inside of you."
I am truly thankful for the time that I have been given and I do not take lightly my obligation to make the most of it. This upcoming year I will make no apologies for "living on purpose" and "moving forward to my highest and best use." I spent a small portion of the day crying...not out of sorrow but joy. I am joyful because of the blessing of healing that God has given to me; joyful for the lessons learned this year, joyful for the faithfulness of my God, and last but not least, joyful for being able to share all of this with you. In 30 years, I have been through more experiences than some people get in a lifetime and it hasn't been easy, but the important thing is that I am still here.....standing. All I can say is thank you God....I am truly "joye full"!!!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Radioactive the finale.....
Unspeakable speaks........
Well everyone, I finally finished my 6 weeks of radiation therapy and I can honestly tell you it was not the walk in the park that it was portrayed to be. Leading into my 5th week, my skin began to rapidly darken and burn off. Imagine having 2nd and 3rd degree burns on your chest, underarm, and back. Yeah exactly, it made sleeping extremely uncomfortable and any form of movement was painful. I suffered from extreme fatigue and there were times that I had to force myself to get up out of bed and run errands to keep from sleeping all day. This was an experience that God willing, I hope not to ever repeat as long as I live.
There are times in our lives where we are placed into situations that God uses to refine and "burn off" the excess baggage and drama that we carry within. I choose to view this experience as one of those times. The reality of the matter is that God is in control of it all and any point in time He can select me to undergo this process all over again (heaven forbid)! But the important thing that I have to keep in perspective, are the values of the lessons learned and the blessings that have unfolded right before my eyes. Would I do it all again you may ask....... as crazy as this may sound. Yes...it was all worth the pain and suffering in order for me to be free of "my private cancers."
Sometimes it takes "the fire of God" applied to our lives in order to be delivered out of situations that we are unable to free ourselves from. I must say something that I pray each of you take extremely seriously.....the attraction to the "cancers" in your past don't just go away. It takes an extreme dependence on the grace of God and discipline to identify and take authority over the "triggers" that lead to your cancer. This experience does not have to be repeated, but it is up to you to make better decisions with your life. Holding grudges, stress, worry, the mismanagement of your talents, fear, and doubt are all things that foster death spiritually and physically. Chose today to make better decisions that promote healing, love, joy, and peace and witness the death of your own radioactive mentality. It is finished.
Well everyone, I finally finished my 6 weeks of radiation therapy and I can honestly tell you it was not the walk in the park that it was portrayed to be. Leading into my 5th week, my skin began to rapidly darken and burn off. Imagine having 2nd and 3rd degree burns on your chest, underarm, and back. Yeah exactly, it made sleeping extremely uncomfortable and any form of movement was painful. I suffered from extreme fatigue and there were times that I had to force myself to get up out of bed and run errands to keep from sleeping all day. This was an experience that God willing, I hope not to ever repeat as long as I live.
There are times in our lives where we are placed into situations that God uses to refine and "burn off" the excess baggage and drama that we carry within. I choose to view this experience as one of those times. The reality of the matter is that God is in control of it all and any point in time He can select me to undergo this process all over again (heaven forbid)! But the important thing that I have to keep in perspective, are the values of the lessons learned and the blessings that have unfolded right before my eyes. Would I do it all again you may ask....... as crazy as this may sound. Yes...it was all worth the pain and suffering in order for me to be free of "my private cancers."
Sometimes it takes "the fire of God" applied to our lives in order to be delivered out of situations that we are unable to free ourselves from. I must say something that I pray each of you take extremely seriously.....the attraction to the "cancers" in your past don't just go away. It takes an extreme dependence on the grace of God and discipline to identify and take authority over the "triggers" that lead to your cancer. This experience does not have to be repeated, but it is up to you to make better decisions with your life. Holding grudges, stress, worry, the mismanagement of your talents, fear, and doubt are all things that foster death spiritually and physically. Chose today to make better decisions that promote healing, love, joy, and peace and witness the death of your own radioactive mentality. It is finished.
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