Unspeakable Speaks:
Today is my first day of radiation and I am not looking forward to it at all. I find it hard to maintain a positive attitude about this part of the process. I have not prayed about it as thoroughly as I did for the chemotherapy and the mastectomy. For the life of me, I find it hard to grasp the concept of having radiation as a means of healing my body from cancer. There has got to be a better way. I know most of you are saying to yourselves, "Well Joye, you have gone through the hardest part of the treatment with flying colors, this should be a walk in the park!" Well people, quite frankly, I don't want to go through this process anymore. I am tired and coming out of that surgery, has not been as easy as it may appear. I have had a little over a month to heal and I am still tired from all of the "so called medicines", poking, and severing that I have undergone in the past nine months. When is this going to be over, I ask myself?! I can easily see how people who have been diagnosed with Cancer, give up. The thing about it is that I don't have the "luxury" because I have too much to live for. I realized that this process had very little to do with me, but rather what the process represented...which is total and complete healing. So if I have to continue to get "radiated" for the ultimate benefit of others...SO BE IT! I will no longer allow myself to be selfish and self consumed for my own benefit. I guess it's time for me to abandon my "radioactive" mentality as I go into radiation......Here we go!