Turning over a new leaf....2011

"Let your life lightly dance on the edges of time like dew on the tip of a leaf."

Rabindranath Tagore

Unspeakable speaks:

It has been quite some time since I wrote to you and a lot has happened over the course of the past year. Let me first start with apologizing for my absence and trust me no one holds me more accountable than I do. It's amazing how after being so enlightened, that I could still allow the most trivial things to distract me from the important task of sharing my life with you. I get the most joy out of writing and sharing the revelations and insight that I have gained having experienced Cancer. Since the last time I wrote you, a close friend; a friends' sister; a cousins' brother-in-law; and a host of others have been diagnosed with Cancer. Although, my experience with Cancer turned out to be a spiritual awakening for me, it was still an extremely challenging situation to endure, and one quite frankly that I wish upon no one. It saddens me to have to report all of these diagnosis' but it gives me another opportunity to drive home my message of healing, once again.

With that being said, it is now 2011 and the beginning of a new season and with it brings new energy, renewed focus, and an excitement for things to come. It is easier to focus on the past and all of the things that were left unaccomplished, unfulfilled dreams and aspirations, and regrets, but I'm here to tell you that all of that is over and it is time to "turn over a new leaf in life." Part of the reason that I was inspired to write you, was to challenge you to move forward toward the healing that belongs to you. Remember, I am not only talking about healing in the physical sense but healing that happens as a result of spiritual renewal and self-examination.

The picture above really spoke to me because as you can see, there are more than one season represented, there is fall - where the leaves are changing colors and slowly falling to the ground, and there is winter - which can represent the cold and isolation. It made me ask the question, "How many times have I found myself caught between two seasons in life." With everything in life, there is always a need for transition, but what happens when the season that is vacating, appears to be "warmer" than the one you are entering? After reflecting on that question, I looked back at the picture to realize the answer to my question, was right before my eyes. The tracks in the snow are what I need to focus on, not the regrets or failures of the season before, nor the uncertainty of the season to come, it's identifying the path before me and moving forward through the process.

I challenge myself and you to identify your individual path in life and use the seasons that come and go as benchmarks to hold you accountable for the higher work that you were created for. Heal yourself and work hard to heal and restore others and all will be well with you. My sincere prayer is that you make 2011 a year of healing, honor, love, peace, and joy. Don't allow 2010 and the choices and decisions that you made hinder where you go and what you will accomplish in the years to come. Turn over your Leaf!

Joyeful Eyesight

I’ve never seen anything so beautiful
I’ve never seen anything so beautiful
I’m repeating this statement like Negro spirituals in fields
Because hope lies in the harmony
Trying to restore the harmony
She once knew
When she sang strong songs that seem off key
Maybe off balanced by the extra weight on her chest
She’s off balance
Almost fainted when she found the lump

Doctor conducted an examination
The orchestra was a tragedy
Like Brahm wrote that CT scan
Like Schubert wrote the biopsy results
Doctor offers encouraging quotes
Half empty, half full
Like whole notes and half notes
Tell me how she will feel whole
If her chest is half empty
Self worth half full
She drinks sunshine to replenish her spirit
Feeds herself scripture
Prays and stays faithful

She’s a fighter
Determined to win and not let this claim her
Modeling strength, will, and determination
I’ve never seen anything so beautiful

I’ve never seen anything so beautiful
I repeat this statement like fight songs
As she marches from concern to my arms
Like Selma to Montgomery
Feels beat, out of gas, tears falling, fear hounding her
She won’t be turned back
From believing she’ll overcome this

She takes my breath away
I can’t speak how amazing she truly is
She rubs her hands down my cheek to my throat
Finds a lump
Fingers like a surgeon’s scalpel dance along my chest
Removes my confusion
So I speak how she lives
Past the pain

I want my voice to be as powerful as you
So that when I’m on stage
You’re fighting your stage
I’m radiating eloquence
You’re going through radiation
This stage is my therapy
You’re going through chemotherapy
I’ve lost my patience with people rooted in ignorance
You’ve lost your hair
I’ve never seen anything so beautiful

Some consider it a shame
I consider it a symbol
The first amazons were from Libya
In awe of your resilient stature
I know you’re a warrior
Resolve on your face like war paint
Smile like a battle cry
I’m inspired by the will to survive in your eyes

I hold you in my arms
It’s like holding dawn
Your bald head sets against my chest
Like an evening horizon
I’ve never seen anything so beautiful

Ruling style and fashion like Caesar
D&G glasses, earrings, and a Caesar
My kisses are penance
Your laugh is my redeemer
I hang close so I can catch you if you falter
I’m just a dreamer
Recognize the glory in your makeup
Temp fade and MAC makeup
An Augusta Savage sculpture
Well crafted work of Art
I’ve never seen anything so beautiful

© 2010 Chris “Dasan Ahanu” Massenburg

Pawns of Life......pt.1

Unspeakable speaks:

"I want to make an impact in the lives of each and every person that I meet." I pray this often and it's rare to find me not practicing this on a daily basis. I realize that everyone doesn't ask for this gift but they possess it nonetheless.

I wanted to take a moment to thank the members of my team for the impact they have made in my cancer journey. The pictures that you are viewing are real people, from various backgrounds, experiences, ethnic backgrounds and lifestyles. But regardless of these differences, they carry a few things in common; they are the best at what they do; they have a desire to see every patient healed; and they have all blessed my life.

To the women and men serving at the Morris Cancer Clinic (Duke Hospital): I honor you. What you do every day helps people from all over choose life instead of death. You give us a reason to move forward in our lives, to educate ourselves about Cancer, and to endure the process. From the person who cleans the bathroom to the world's best breast surgeon (That's you Dr. Scheri) to the intake staff and nurses, everyone plays an intricate role in the healing cycle of the patient.

I challenge each one of you to remember the impact that you make on your patients everytime your days become long and hard. Remember that you carry in your demeanor hope for the next person to strive to live.

Who is shown:
Ellen, "Ice Pick"and Rick - radiation oncology; Dr. Scheri - my breast surgeon; Priscilla - Dr. Scheri's Nurse; Katie - my private nurse (smile.) Dr. Kimmick's nurse; Dr. Kimmick - my oncologist.

"Only a life lived for others is a life worth while."

Albert Einstein

Rock your baldy...

"Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex."


Earl Wilson


Unspeakable Speaks:

Alright listen up, I cried for a total of 11 minutes when I was told that I was going to lose my hair by the oncologist. But after that there was no more crying to do. It is apart of the process people, it will grow back. Honestly, shaving my head was the most liberating thing I did during my treatment. Weekly visits to my barber became the norm, and I sat confidently in his chair looking forward to the finished product, a freshly shaven head. Occasionally, I wore scarves, but as long as the weather was conducive, I wore my head out and loved it. I received more compliments with a bald head than I ever did with long hair.

In some cultures it is believed that having a bald head helps you communicate better with God. Everyone has a different experience with it, but I challenge you to embrace and rock your baldy! Cover your head when you are going to treatment, so that you are protected from any infections or germs but allow the sun to beam down on you and reenergize you from head (literally) to toe. Be free and be aware that there will be people that stare and are uncomfortable with your new look. Let that be their problem and you continue to focus on your total and complete healing. Remember that in order for new life to exist all dead things must be removed. You are not your hair!

India Arie....I am not my hair

Lipstick and High Heels!

“It takes more than just a good looking body. You've got to have the heart and soul to go with it.”

Epictetus


Unspeakable speaks:
When I was undergoing cancer treatments, I made it a point to look my best at all times. It was in looking my best that helped my family and friends cope with the reality of my illness. Let's just be honest, there are always going to be those around us that require more of our attention and although it is not their particular situation, the reality of it touching someone close to them, cuts deep. In instances such as these, you may find yourself having to comfort your family more than anything. For me, I found that looking good gave them more confidence in my healing. I didn't have to spend time talking about my healing, I simply walked it out daily in high heels!

There are countless stories about how people chose to beat their cancer. But this video touched me deeply. Take the time to pray and choose for yourself the method and strategy that you will use to win....and then do it! This is no different from any other trial or tribulation that threatens your life, so make the decision today to wear your lipstick and high heels and live victoriously!

Click the link below to view this inspiring video!

"Why I wore lipstick to my mastectomy."

Humbled......

"Death ends a life....not a relationship."

Robert Benchley


Unspeakable speaks:

Today I attended the funeral of my 2nd grandmother (my 2nd mother's mom). She embraced me and my daughter like we were her own and she never treated us any different than her own biological children. She consistently checked up on me when I was going through Cancer treatments. She enlisted her pastor and extended family to pray for me and my family without being asked. She would write me monthly and we shared a bond that could not be articulated verbally. She was for all intensive purposes, my grandmother. In my reflecting, I found myself humbled by the life that she led. This woman was amazing, and the outpouring of love and support that surfaced as a result of her passing was only a small part of the impact that she made in the lives of those around her. I only shared the last 15 years with her, but the gentle touch of her spirit, left an imprint on my soul that can never be erased.

I thank God daily for allowing me to see another day. But today I thank Him for allowing me to be apart of the lives of those that did not make it. There is no way that I would have made it through my journey without my family praying for and supporting me and I do not take that lightly. Relationships are what makes our lives worth living...First, your relationship with God, Secondly, your relationship with yourself and Thirdly, your relationship with your family. These relationships shape who you are as an individual. If you are determined to be great in life, take a look around you...look at those in your own family; celebrate and honor them while they are still alive, because you never know if they will make it to tomorrow.

One Year Later.......

" It took Cancer to bring me to a point of maturity, that I would have never known otherwise. In many ways, Christ used Cancer to save me from destruction."

Unspeakable Speaks:

A year ago today I was diagnosed with stage 3C Breast Cancer, having only been 30 years old for two months. Today, I am a new person altogether. My perspective and the definition of life and what it means has completely changed. Having experienced first hand what it means to live an unfulfilled life; where my personal decisions kept me in a state of bondage. I realized as a result of having Cancer that if I allowed God to renew my mind and change my heart, that which was meant to kill me, would actually give me life. This was not an easy process, and the truth of the matter is, if I told you that I didn't go through periods of doubt, frustration, and fear; I'd be lying. But what I can tell you is that, I learned how to acknowledge those feelings and address them appropriately when they arose. When you are faced with insurmountable odds, it causes you to evaluate how you feel about God and His abilities. Identifying where you are in your faith and reflecting on your experiences in an effort to initiate growth and maturity is the goal.

Today I am reflecting on how the last year of my life has unfolded and it warms my heart to know that out of the darkness I have emerged victorious...Cancer free. Healed. It is today that I realize that I am getting that much closer to being a reflection of the image of Christ in the earth realm. (Genesis 1:27) I chose the picture above because it made me realize that our perceptions often shape our perspective. We all have our own crosses to bear. If the sun went down, the cross would still be there. It is up to us to decide whether or not to focus on the darkness and the lack of a visible cross or to remain confident in the fact that despite the darkness, the cross will be there when the sun emerges again. The sun will emerge from behind the clouds of darkness. You can be healed, you can be delivered, you can win. Your situation may seem bleek now, but know that "The Cross" is still there, despite your situation and the darkness is simply there to illuminate the light. Be the light of the world, so that through you, the world might have hope. Reflect the cross even in your "darkest"situations, so that when the sun shines again, you will emerge refreshed and renewed.




Refine your perspective! Study the scriptures below:

I Peter 5:10

James 1:12

John 16:33

Romans 5:3

2 Corinthians 4:16